New Years thoughts

I´ll be the girl....

I’ll be the girl who makes Jesus Christ the center of her whole existence.

I’ll be the girl who bases every decision off of what HE tells me.

I’ll be the girl who doesn’t think, look at, say, or even contemplate anything unclean ever again.

I’ll be the girl who is kind and sweet and puts others before herself.

I’ll be the girl who treats everyone with respect, is always helpful and never hurtful.

I’ll be the girl who finds all her strength and confidence in Jesus Christ and never wavers.

I’ll be the girl with an attitude straight from heaven.

I’ll be reliable, steadfast, and stable.

I’ll be those things through Jesus who lives in me.

If I’m ever anything else it is your job to rebuke me, pray for me, and talk to me.

The computer is meant for school assignments and important research.

The library is meant for the same thing so get your pass get a card and use it more often.

Nature is meant to be explored, spend more time outside, walk, run, and enjoy the fresh air while you still can.

You get up in the morning and you wash, get dressed, do the things you’re told because those older than you want to teach you and strive for your best.

At first you might perceive something as a nuisance, do it anyways and do it with a good attitude just the way Christ would.

Life comes with a whole bunch of confusing, difficult, uncomfortable, burdensome and sometimes just plain miserable situations. With that being said, think about the fact that Christ is building your character, that He is with you every step of the way when you put your hope in him. No situation is too confusing, difficult, uncomfortable, burdensome, or miserable when you have confidence in him.

Truthful, open, and real, those are things you struggle with in today’s society. This world has built a society in which young women and men strive to be anything but themselves. It’s the hardest thing in the world we live in, to be what Christ had in mind when he made us. Remember you can never be who you were meant to on your own, you need him, seek your creator. A movie star, an image built by the world, a mask, and attitude straight form a T.V show, a sex appeal every advertisement screams out, that’s what we say NO to. Christ is the breath of fresh air this world needs, HE is the real, the truth, and through him that’s what were called to be. No lies, no acting, no world built character, we don’t fit in, we stand out. In this world we are the true rebels.

Thoughts for Today

 Love

Gods Love is the only real love there is, anything else isn't really love. I have a best friend who I'm not sure understands his greatest command though. God wants us to love everyone the way he has loved us, you can still have some people that are more important and that you love more than others of course, because that is human nature in a way but that's no the point of this. The point is to take care of people who need your help whether they're your best friend or your worst enemy, and to make more friends. What I want her to understand is that Gods love is endless, loving through him is like a bottomless well of love. This means just because I love someone else doesn't mean I love other people any less, the love never runs out so that I can keep loving more and more people, to different extents in a way but of course still love. So to say, I love my best friend an extreme amount, only what I want her to understand is that loving other people isn't gonna take any of that love and care away from her.

Faith

"Faith by itself if it is not accompanied by actions is dead" James 2:17

A while ago my mom wrote a blog about faith and how shes never seen it, that's probably because we don't back up our faith with the visible, the deeds, our faith is dead because it isn't accompanied by action. My plan over the next weeks is to step by step not only pray to develop faith, but pray to act in a way that backs up this faith. 

A Real Christian

I went through James and looked at what it really means to be a Christian, to the side I made a list in my notes that looks like this:

1. Trials are good because the testing of faith develops perseverance.
2. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test he will receive the crown reserved for those who love God.
3. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
4. Do not merely listen to the word and deceive yourself, do what it says.
5. He who keeps the law but stumbles at points is guilty of breaking the whole law.
6. Mercy triumphs over judgement. 
7. Show me your Faith without deeds and I will show you my Faith by my deeds.
8. If anyone is never at fault in what he says he is a perfect man and able to keep his body in check. 
9. We praise God with the same tounge we use to speak evil, this should not be, salt water cannot flow from a fresh water stream.
10. Come near to God for then He will come near to you.

Travel Time

Leaving was scary and I think I thought about it maybe 100 times before I got on that plane. It wasn't just being away from my mommy, who I've never been away from for more than two weeks, it was general fear of the unknown.

When I got on that plane dragging my thirty pounds of carry-on I was terrified of what it'd be like. The closer take off got the more afraid i grew. i shut the window and closed my eyes but suddenly like out of nowhere we were in the air, and when I opened the window and saw myself go higher and higher into the clouds I was somehow filled with happiness.Not only was I relaxed now but there was no one next to me just like I had prayed to I got to put my legs up! A few worship songs and some dozing and suddenly we touched ground again, there I was in Philly.

Let me tell you, that airport was no fun! I had to drag both carry-on's all the way to a bus, that after about 15 minutes finally got me to terminal A. Problem? My terminal was A21, so about 2 miles of dragging and heaving later i finally get there only to find out that if I want food or a bathroom I'll have to drag my stuff with me. Taking a leap I asked a nice man nearby to keep an eye on my stuff while i hunted down a bathroom and got some lunch at a Japanese restaurant. A few minutes before boarding I grabbed a magazine some chocolate covered pretzels and a bottle of Ice Tea for the 7 hours ahead. I began to smile hearing all the German around me and got more and more excited. As I sat down in the plane it all sank into me, no turning back now, in 7 hours I'll be home! Again no one sat next to me, and again I got to put my feet up. For weather and such reasons, the flight kept rerouting and it took forever for us to take off.

This time I kept my window open and watched as everything below got smaller and smaller the higher we went until suddenly I couldn't see anything but clouds anymore. I leaned back and listened to every song on my Ipod dozing a little along the way but not able to sleep because of the discomfort. When I woke up I checked out the awesome touch screen T.V and watched Soul Surfer, which I greatly advise everyone to watch cause it just happened to be absolutely awesome. The next time I opened my window the sun was setting, the clouds were ablaze in color and purple and gold lines were fading across, it was so beautiful I couldn't stop staring. Dinner was pretty delicious, sun dried tomato pasta, salad, a roll, and a brownie (: After reading through my magazine I began another movie, the flight was starting to drag and I was counting the seconds, constantly checking the GPS. A few minutes before landing apple pastries were handed out and then suddenly through the dark I started to see the glittering lights of cities below me. I've never seen things so beautiful, it was like in those dreams you have of things you feel will never happen. The sunrise that followed was breathtaking, as the sky lit up and all the clouds were suddenly in color, I felt so close to God and thanked him for the beautiful things he created. Suddenly we got closer to the ground, as I saw Frankfurt tears filled my eyes, I couldn't believe that somehow after 7 long years I was back home.

It took about 5 minutes to get to customs because those with a European passport got to go first, from then on it was straight to baggage claim where I discovered my phone didn't work :( As I walked towards the exit, and out, suddenly, before me was my Tina and to my awesome surprise, Svea! After a round of hugs a bunch of joking and a text to mom we set off on a great adventures of taking the wrong turn a couple of times and dragging my crazy heavy junk through a huge airport as well as going to the bathroom in that process. By the end of all this I was sweaty and exhausted, but still had plenty of energy to sit in the car and freak out about all the wonderful "German" things in Germany.

After this ordeal a quick trip to Real for awesome breakfast stuff such as: Emmentaler cheese, Schwarzwaelder schinken, rolls, and other such amazing things. We got back, ate, and both Svea and I were half asleep, so Tina took her home. When she got back she showed me some things around the house, helped me unpack a little, and left for work. I took a quick shower and got all clean, after this I left a message for my mommy and went straight to bed for a good 5 hours. round 3 I was woken by momma on the phone and went back to sleep only to be woken again an hour later, at which I finally gave in and told my family all about it (: When Tina came home we had delicious spicy shrimp noodles and went for a walk, where she showed me the very confusing trash system (which I'm finally getting a hang of) and took me out for delicious ice cream <3 I do happen to have the best aunt ever.

I slept like a baby through the night, got up at four to read the bible and am now suffering from extreme shoulder knots and crazy joint pain in my hands, but its all worth it being home.

Appreciating IT

This week my thoughts have been on appreciation a lot. Because its my last week I realize right before I leave everything how much I appreciate all the things I have here with me. Mom and Billy and Lynn and Charlie, being able to talk to my Best Friend as much as I do, its all stuff about my life I'm grateful to have. I see how much it means to get to hug my mom and spend time with my brother and kiss all over Charlie and listen to Lynn's crazy stories every day now that I know I wont have it anymore. While thinking about this my thoughts drifted to something else that calls for appreciation which I've never thought about this way before.

Imagine if there was no God, no Love, no Miracles, no Hope, or Peace, or Joy. What if all the things he gives us, all the things that exist through him just weren't there, because he didn't exist?  It makes me wonder, why don't some people truly appreciate his love, take it with full thanks for it and give back in full. When you imagine all the good things left in the world gone and no one to make anything beautiful anymore its shattering to think. When you really realize what God is and what He means you're mind is blown. To think that you never have to be without his Love that hes the one thing that's stable forever and ever, it does something in me. Seeing that makes me wanna cling to him and praise and thank him over and over and over.

I'm still learning how to sort it all out. I'm learning what it means to be a true Christian and live my life for Him. Its not easy but its worth it all. Hes so much more than anyone ever realizes.

The Other Street

The more I read in Authentic Beauty the more insight I gain and the more I start to think in a spiritual way. Today something particular stood out to me that I haven't been able to stop thinking about since I read it. In a chapter dealing with how to overcome the temptation to Sin and stop yourself from even thinking in a way that isn't Christlike, I came across my new favorite Symbolism. Under the heading "Creating Solid Boundary Lines" this example was given: 

"Actress Portia Nelson captured her life story using just a few brief sentences in her famous poem "Autobiography in Five Short Chapters". In the first chapter, she is walking down the street and falls into a deep hole in the sidewalk. "It takes forever to find a way out," she says. In the next chapter, she walks down the same street, pretending she doesn't see the hole. She falls in again, and again struggles to get out. Eventually, she walks down the same street, managing to go around the hole. But the complete fifth chapter tells her ultimate solution: "I walk down another street."

I make it my personal goal to "walk down the other street" from now on. Before I let Sin and Temptation crawl out of that hole and pull me by the ankles as I walk by, I much prefer to take another street entirely. I realize the other street might not always be more convenient or easier, but I know one thing for sure, I would much rather take the winding, lengthy street with no hole and not risk hurting my Savior and falling.

Baptism

On Sunday, July 17^th I’m going to die to the World, leave my Sins behind me, and be Born again in Christ to have eternal life.

I can’t name just one thing that led to this decision. It didn’t just hit me all of a sudden. I will never understand the mysterious ways in which my great Lord and Savior works, I can only say how grateful I am for Him. I’m also grateful for the way He started tugging at my heart strings over a long period of time until I finally gave in and said “Alright, no more tugging, it’s all yours.” I can’t say it’s been easy with three little siblings, especially a one year old brother. Patience and Kindness don’t always come that easily to me; my very nature makes me need Jesus. He helps me not to yell every time I get an attitude from my little sister or one of my brothers makes a mess.

After asking Jesus, one painful Night to come into my heart and start cleaning house whether I wanted it or not, I saw a change. Though I still struggle (a lot) I find that change becoming more and more evident through Him. I feel myself becoming less awkward in prayer, reading more and more in the Bible each day, watching sermons on Sundays and doing my own Bible study with my Mom. I don’t do these things because I have to now, but because I want to.

I grew up with Jesus a very big factor in my life, not understanding quite everything, but still hearing the bible songs, going to church, reading the stories, and even asking Him to come into my life. Sadly, when we left Germany to go to the States when I was 8 I found myself almost completely leaving Him behind when I needed Him most. I faced my new found struggles and started to grow up without Him. Thanks to my wonderful Mom though, I didn’t get off without a heaping does of strong Morals and Values instilled in me, that I’m more than grateful to have today, as I face being a Teenager in modern Society. Since my Mom got baptized when we moved up to Kentucky with the Army, she’s been nothing but a living breathing example of the difference God can make in a person. My mom and My Aunt, as well as My Omi, have been incredible role models in my life. No matter how I struggled with my belief, no matter how I rebelled, Mommy was there as always, ever patient and with all the things that at that time I didn’t want to hear. My mom showed me what love can do, and I see it every day through the incredible things she does in our little family, as well as the never-ending love she pours out over the four of us kids, who happen to fight for her attention constantly.

Since I’ve made this big decision to start over with Jesus in my Heart and Life other BIG things have started happening. In about a week I’ll be moving back to my Hometown in Germany to live with my Aunt and finish up School over there. I can’t say what lead to this, and leaving my Mom and Siblings is definitely not something I look forward to but it seems to be just where God wants me. I learned through the wise words of my Mom that I am always safest and exactly where I need to be in God’s will.

The support I’ve gotten from the Women in my life after making my decision for Christ as well as the decision to move back, has been more than I could ever ask for. The way that I can come to them with any question and always get just the answer God needs me to hear is one of the greatest gifts he has given me. I want to thank Him and I want to thank them, as well as Jonathan who was so incredibly there for me as well, when I began to ask questions, not only supportive and full of guidance but also excited right along with me. When I asked Jonathan to Baptize me right in the middle of all this turbulence in my life he was more than happy to accept and I am so glad to know a man like him, who shows his walk with Christ through his very life and actions. Even though it’s just through talking to him and keeping up on Facebook of late I can’t say I’ve ever had someone I’ve trusted and been inspired by through church more than him. The way God shines through all these special people in my life, I also want Him to shine through me.

My favorite Bible character, since I was little, has always been David. In the same way that David was a Man after Gods Own Heart, I want to become a Girl after Gods Own Heart.