On Sunday, July 17th I’m going to die to the World, leave my Sins behind me, and be Born again in Christ to have eternal life.
I can’t name just one thing that led to this decision. It didn’t just hit me all of a sudden. I will never understand the mysterious ways in which my great Lord and Savior works, I can only say how grateful I am for Him. I’m also grateful for the way He started tugging at my heart strings over a long period of time until I finally gave in and said “Alright, no more tugging, it’s all yours.” I can’t say it’s been easy with three little siblings, especially a one year old brother. Patience and Kindness don’t always come that easily to me; my very nature makes me need Jesus. He helps me not to yell every time I get an attitude from my little sister or one of my brothers makes a mess.
After asking Jesus, one painful Night to come into my heart and start cleaning house whether I wanted it or not, I saw a change. Though I still struggle (a lot) I find that change becoming more and more evident through Him. I feel myself becoming less awkward in prayer, reading more and more in the Bible each day, watching sermons on Sundays and doing my own Bible study with my Mom. I don’t do these things because I have to now, but because I want to.
I grew up with Jesus a very big factor in my life, not understanding quite everything, but still hearing the bible songs, going to church, reading the stories, and even asking Him to come into my life. Sadly, when we left Germany to go to the States when I was 8 I found myself almost completely leaving Him behind when I needed Him most. I faced my new found struggles and started to grow up without Him. Thanks to my wonderful Mom though, I didn’t get off without a heaping does of strong Morals and Values instilled in me, that I’m more than grateful to have today, as I face being a Teenager in modern Society. Since my Mom got baptized when we moved up to Kentucky with the Army, she’s been nothing but a living breathing example of the difference God can make in a person. My mom and My Aunt, as well as My Omi, have been incredible role models in my life. No matter how I struggled with my belief, no matter how I rebelled, Mommy was there as always, ever patient and with all the things that at that time I didn’t want to hear. My mom showed me what love can do, and I see it every day through the incredible things she does in our little family, as well as the never-ending love she pours out over the four of us kids, who happen to fight for her attention constantly.
Since I’ve made this big decision to start over with Jesus in my Heart and Life other BIG things have started happening. In about a week I’ll be moving back to my Hometown in Germany to live with my Aunt and finish up School over there. I can’t say what lead to this, and leaving my Mom and Siblings is definitely not something I look forward to but it seems to be just where God wants me. I learned through the wise words of my Mom that I am always safest and exactly where I need to be in God’s will.
The support I’ve gotten from the Women in my life after making my decision for Christ as well as the decision to move back, has been more than I could ever ask for. The way that I can come to them with any question and always get just the answer God needs me to hear is one of the greatest gifts he has given me. I want to thank Him and I want to thank them, as well as Jonathan who was so incredibly there for me as well, when I began to ask questions, not only supportive and full of guidance but also excited right along with me. When I asked Jonathan to Baptize me right in the middle of all this turbulence in my life he was more than happy to accept and I am so glad to know a man like him, who shows his walk with Christ through his very life and actions. Even though it’s just through talking to him and keeping up on Facebook of late I can’t say I’ve ever had someone I’ve trusted and been inspired by through church more than him. The way God shines through all these special people in my life, I also want Him to shine through me.
My favorite Bible character, since I was little, has always been David. In the same way that David was a Man after Gods Own Heart, I want to become a Girl after Gods Own Heart.